"Dear Mr. Stran
First of all I am sorry for only writing you back now but I have been in the hospital until today. For now you know that I could not fulfil your request. But what you call "simple request" was completely impossible to obtain. I first went to see George W. Bush but immediately he kick me out (literally) of his office saying that the next time I was there he would make me USA public enemy #1 and would bomb my house for preventing reasons.
I then went to Iran but he just told me if I thought that he really believe in Santa Claus and kick me out (once again literally) saying that he make a "Fatah" against me. Then came the suicide bombers but I was almost blown away buy one and had to get out of there in a hurry.
Being near, I went to Israel but they direct me back to Palestine telling me that only after they declare the same thing they would accept to make this statement. The Palestinians said the same thing and direct me back to Israel. I was like that for days until I gave out.
As for Ben Laden do you really think that I could find him?!?
Then, I went to see the G7 leaders but when I was arriving to the place I remembered what George W. Bush told me and thought it was better for me not to go (after all I need my factory intact to give the presents to all the other kids).
Finally, I tried to convince all countries in the world to comply with the obligations of the charter of the UN. For some it was easy but for the rest, let me just say that I was shot at, stabbed and beaten up and end up in an hospital where I remained until yesterday (because of this it was Mrs Santa Claus that gave the presents this year).
I am sorry that you didn't received your present but like I told you it was impossible.
Ho, Ho, Ho
[P.S. Next year, if you ask me the same or similar I quit!!!]"